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Wednesday, December 20, 2017

CONFIDENCE HACK - Notice people pleasing.

people-pleaser.jpg (2000×2000)
People pleasing is the desire to make others happy (or prevent their anger) at your own expense. You feel so uncomfortable with conflict or disappointing others that you're willing to do just about anything to avoid it. You're addicted to the approval and good feelings that come from making people happy and comfortable, as you tend to their needs over your own. It makes you feel validated and worthy. Over time you begin to lose confidence in yourself, because you've lost sight of who you are, what you want in the relationship, or how to live your life on your own terms.
Action Steps: If you recognize yourself as a people pleaser and see how it's harming your relationship, then it's past time to do something about it. This week, choose one situation with your partner or another person you please where you stand up for yourself, say no, or make your own decision—even if it causes conflict. Remain strong. Don't give in even if you encounter anger or withdrawal by your partner. Resist the need to over-explain yourself or to over-apologize for your decision. If necessary, leave the room or hang up the phone until he/she calms down.

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