Career tips - Highlight your strengths.

It's important to acknowledge and work on your weak points, but it's even more important for your confidence and career success to highlight your strengths. Most people have some level of confidence around what they do well. When you build on those strengths and make them even better, your confidence will follow. It's much easier to strengthen your strengths than it is to improve your weak areas. Become an expert or highly proficient in your strengths, and others will come to respect and depend on your knowledge and expertise.

Action Steps: What is a career strength you posses that is essential to your job? How could you improve this area to become even more knowledgeable? What are the exact steps you need to take to strengthen this strength? Write a list of these steps and plot them on a calendar for action.

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Career tips - Dress for the job you want.

Ultimately, what kind of job do you want? Take a look at your mentor, your boss, your boss's boss. What are they wearing? How are they dressed differently from the rest of the staff? If you're a stock clerk, maybe it's time to get out of jeans and a t-shirt and start dressing like a manager. Appearances do count. You'll feel more confident, and people will begin to view you differently when you dress for the success you intend to create.

Action Steps:Go back to your career goals and remind yourself what you want for the future. What career or position do you want? Begin to dress and groom yourself for the position. Look the part until you actually play it.

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Career tips - Find a mentor.

A mentor is a more knowledgeable, experienced person who takes an interest in you and your success. Mentors inspire and motivate you to stretch yourself and do your best work. With a mentor, you can drill down to the emotions, complications, frustrations, and potential roadblocks and get real-world feedback on how to manage these things. Mentors might see something in you that you haven't recognized or acknowledged in yourself and shine a light of awareness on it for you.

Action Steps: Think about successful, accomplished people you know and admire in your office or your field. What do they do that you would like to emulate ? What could you learn from them if you had the opportunity? Make an initial contact with a potential mentor to let them know why you respect them. Invite them to lunch or offer your assistance so you have the chance to observe and talk with them. Remember to respect your mentor's time and express gratitude for their help and support.

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Career tips - Box up past failures.

When we make a mistake or experience a public failure in our work, it takes a huge toll on self-confidence. Failure is embarrassing and creates a lot of anxiety about our potential for success and abilities. However, failure also is a sign that you're willing to stretch yourself and take action. The most confident and successful people have had many mistakes and past failures—because they've pushed themselves to take a risk, make a decision, and move forward. Failures give you information you can use for future efforts. Once you learn from failure, don't allow it to remain in your awareness or hold you back. Accept failure as a stepping stone to success.

Action Steps:What past mistakes or failures remain in your thoughts and undermine your confidence? Write down each one, and consider what you learned from them. How has this information helped you or guided you in other efforts at work? What positive changes have you made as a result of this failure? Write done your thoughts. If you'd like to read more about confidence after failure, check out this article.  

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Career tips - Speak out in meetings.

When you lack confidence at work, it feels uncomfortable and intimidating to speak up in meetings. You fear saying the wrong thing, looking stupid, or drawing attention to yourself. However, your willingness and initiative to talk in meetings, share ideas, and argue a point in front of others is a critical factor decision makers consider when it's time to offer a promotion or a juicy project. Sitting silently makes you appear disengaged and disinterested, and will make it more likely you get passed over or ignored.

Action Steps:When is the next group meeting you must attend at work? Find out more about this meeting and the topics that will be covered. What ideas or relevant information can you share during the meeting? Think about exactly what you can say, how you will say it, and when the appropriate time will be during the meeting to bring it up. How can you politely insert your comment into the conversation if you aren't called upon to speak?

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Career tips - Prepare thoroughly.

Nothing supports confidence more than thorough preparation. Whether you're conducting a meeting, giving a speech, or presenting to a client, when you know your stuff, you feel on top of your game and self-assured. Demand excellence from yourself in your work. Go above and beyond what needs to be done. Give yourself plenty of time and over-prepare. Even if you aren't a comfortable speaker or presenter, your thorough knowledge and command of the subject will make you feel more secure and impress others.

Action Step:What is the next presentation, meeting, or project you have ahead of you? What do you need to do to feel thoroughly prepared and completely informed? Write down all of the specific steps and create a plan of action working backward from the event date. If necessary, rehearse what you will say and how you'll present the information

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Career tips - Think outside of the box.

Innovators and creative thinkers often get the most attention in an organization. Even though you might feel unsure of yourself, consider new and different ways you can complete a project, save the company money, or come up with a solution to a problem. Rather than following the same routines or the expected method, think outside of the box and impress your boss with your initiative and creativity.

Action Step: Consider an upcoming project or a regular task in your job. How could you improve, streamline, or recreate it? How can you show your boss and the powers that be the ways in which your ideas will benefit them or the organization?

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Career tips - Identify weaknesses or opportunities.

Although it's never fun to acknowledge our weaknesses and areas of growth opportunity, you must be clear on where you need to improve in order to improve. You likely know some of these weaknesses already, but it's important to know how your boss and decision-makers in your organization view them and where they want you to grow.

Action Steps:Make a list of your perceived weaknesses in your job. Ask your boss where he believes you need to improve. What are some specific actions you can take in these areas to become better? Write them down and create an action calendar for implementing them.

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Career tips - Get clear on expectations.

If you don't know what your boss or organization expects from you, you'll always feel on rocky footing and insecure about your performance. Perhaps your boss hasn't communicated these expectations clearly, but it's up to you to find out and drill down to the specifics tasks and results required. Having this definitive knowledge will give you clarity and make you feel more confident in your efforts.

Action Steps: Review your job description and duties if you have access to them. Set up a meeting with your boss to review and discuss his/her specific expectations. If your company has a vision or mission statement, review it to ensure your work aligns with the company mission.

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Career tips - Know your career goals.

Often a lack of confidence stems from not being clear on what you want and where you want to go with your career. This uncertainty and lack of clarity makes you hesitant to take risks or boldly seize opportunities. If you don't feel happy or passionate in your work and don't have a vision for your professional future, the odds are good you'll settle for the status quo and never move ahead. You'll feel paralyzed by doubt and lack of direction.

Action Steps: Start thinking about your professional vision and what you want to achieve in the coming years. Do you have a passion that can translate into a career? What are your career goals for the next year, five years, ten years? Start writing this vision and defining your goals. When you do this exercise, suspend logic and pragmatic thinking and allow yourself to think big.

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Career tips

Your career is a huge part of your life. If you work full-time, you spend nearly half of your waking hours on the job. How you feel about your career impacts your happiness and quality of life in all areas. If you're unhappy or unfulfilled in your work, your feelings will eventually impact your confidence in your ability to be successful, useful, and productive.

If you have a career you like, but you don't have confidence in yourself or your skills on the job, this will undermine your opportunities for promotions, better jobs within your field, or winning new clients. When you lack confidence at work, you aren't as likely to accept challenging projects, initiate ideas, or speak up in meetings. As a result, others begin to view you as less capable or intelligent and come to expect less from you.

Even though you might be highly-skilled and very bright, the fallout from your lack of confidence will make you question yourself further, as you fail to impress your peers and decision-makers. Over time, your self-esteem takes a hit because your inability to reach your career goals makes you doubt yourself and your worth to the organization. If you lack confidence in yourself on the job, the best thing you can do for your overall happiness and financial success is to work on rebuilding it.

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Social life :-Gain perspective.

Although you may feel highly self-conscious in social situations, the reality is that others aren't paying nearly as much attention to you as you fear they are. Most people are far more concerned with themselves and how they look and sound. Even though you may be filled with doubt about yourself, your appearance, your personality, or your abilities, everyone has some of these same self-doubts. More importantly, everyone has flaws and imperfections. You may not notice them because you're so focused on your own.

Action Steps: Close your eyes for a moment, and mentally acknowledge the fact that your fears and self-doubts are out of proportion with reality. Recognize that others aren't focused on your flaws or assessing you constantly. Remind yourself of this fact when you are in your next social situation.

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Social life :- Practice openness and vulnerability.

When you don't feel confident about yourself or your relationship skills, it is difficult to open up to another person. Often we build walls and shut down emotions in order to protect ourselves from embarrassment or rejection. Vulnerability feels deeply uncomfortable when we aren't sure if something negative might follow. But authenticity is the only path to a real connection in any relationship. You can't close off parts of yourself and feel confident in who you are. When you are reserved and self-conscious, you are depriving others of the benefit of your true personality and uniqueness. You also deprive yourself of the potential for an enjoyable, real connection.

Action Steps: Consider how you might be closing yourself off or being inauthentic in your relationships. Start by taking one small step toward authenticity and vulnerability. Share a life-long dream or talk about an insecurity in a conversation with a friend or acquaintance. Practice speaking from the heart, even at the risk of appearing less-than-perfect. You'll find others relate to you better and find you more approachable.

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Social life :-Notice nervous habits.

Your lack of confidence can show itself in some distracting and unattractive ways. Nervous habits like biting your nails, hair-twirling, clearing your throat, constant twitching or foot shaking, or popping your knuckles, can be irritating to others and suggest you don't feel self-assured or comfortable. Sometimes these behaviors are the result of boredom, but those observing you will perceive you as uncomfortable and nervous. Many of these habits are unsanitary and even unhealthy and make you look silly or childish.

Action Steps: Think about some of the nervous behaviors you have that are habitual. What are some of the triggers for these behaviors in social situations? What are you feeling when you turn to these habits? Discomfort? Boredom? Stress? By noticing the feelings, you will take some of the power away from the emotion, making it less tempting to perform the bad habit. Come up with some positive replacement behaviors to use when you notice you want to perform a nervous habit. For example, when you want to bite your nails, put your hands in your pockets or hold them together in front of you. 

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Social life :-Understand the art of small talk.

Small talk is the polite and sometimes meaningless conversation you have at parties and other social gatherings. It's light, casual conversation that creates a friendly atmosphere. The skill of making small talk is important in social and business settings, and it shows you have manners, poise and can engage other people. It is a cornerstone of civility, as it fosters contact and encourages kindness. For some people, small talk flows naturally—but for others, making small talk feels tedious and overwhelming. Many people think small talk is an innate talent, but it is an acquired skill. There is a structure and rules for making small talk that makes connecting with others less intimidating.

Action Steps:In your next social encounter, begin small talk by letting the other person know you are willing to engage. Comment on the weather or about something in the surroundings. Then move on to personal introductions and sharing information about who you are and what you do. Throw out a light topic for conversation (a movie, a book you're reading, etc.) and respond back to any topics thrown your way. Try not to spend too much time focused on your favorite topic. Ask questions and show interest in the other person. Also read about 

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Social life :-Learn active listening.

Listening is one of the most important confidence skills you can have. Confident communication isn't just about talking, it's about listening deeply to others. By becoming a better listener, you can improve and enhance your relationships and social interactions, as well as your ability to influence, persuade and negotiate. Active listening involves making a conscious effort to hear beyond just the words the other person is saying. It's mindfully paying attention to the complete message being sent, and being fully focused on the other person without succumbing to distractions.

Action Steps: Practice active listening with a close friend or family member. Give them attention without checking your phone, glancing over their shoulder at someone else, or looking at your watch. Notice the speaker's body language and practice mirroring. Use your body language to show you're listening by nodding and smiling appropriately. Offer feedback and thoughtful comments. The positive response you get from the speaker will make you feel more confident in your communication skills.

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Social life :-Practice mirroring.

There is a neuron in the brain that is responsible for recognition of faces and facial expressions. This neuron triggers you to copy facial expression you see on others. You mirror their expressions unconsciously. When you mirror someone's body language you are offering nonverbal cues that you relate to them and feel the same as they do. In fact, research shows people who share the same emotions are likely to experience stronger levels of trust, connection and empathy. You can reverse-engineer this process to make close connections with others by mirroring their expressions and body language.

Action Steps:The next time you converse with someone, practice a mirroring them for a few moments. Don't exaggerate it, but subtly mirror their facial expressions and body movements. Try this with a family member or close friend at first until you get the hang of the subtleties of mirroring. (You don't want to look like you're mocking the other person.) Take note of how they respond to you and whether or not you see them warming to you and the conversation.

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Social life :-Notice the voice in your head.

Negative self-talk is universal with those who feel uncomfortable socially. You spend time wondering what others are thinking, how you look to them, and how they might be judging you. You mentally repeat self-criticisms or linger on how fearful and shy you are. People who lack confidence overestimate the negative perceptions of others in social situations. They become paralyzed by their negative thoughts and further isolate themselves, adding another heap of self-criticism and negativity on top of the initial feelings. Of course, none of these negative thoughts help you feel more comfortable or confident. In fact, they just reinforce feelings of self-doubt and anxiety.

Action Steps: Write down all of the fears and false perceptions your mental voice is telling you. Then for each fear, ask yourself, "Is this 100 percent true? How often has this really happened?" Then notice if there is any real evidence to support your negative thought. More than likely, there isn't any or it's greatly exaggerated. In fact, there is probably more evidence that negates these self-critical thoughts. Teach yourself to stop believing your thoughts. Simply notice them without giving them credibility.

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Social life :-Practice a conversation.

For any skill you learn, practice increases your confidence. With repetitive practice, you know exactly what needs to be changed and adjusted, and it allows you to hone your skills until you feel proficient. The skills involved in social confidence require practice as well, and this includes practicing conversation skills. One of the biggest concerns about meeting new people or participating in group conversation is not knowing what to say or fearing you'll embarrass yourself. But with some pre-planning and practice, you'll be armed with plenty of conversation topics and the assurance to initiate a chat.

Action Steps:Before you attend a social gathering, a date, or even an outing with a friend, think about what you want to say when you first arrive. Practice greeting people in front of a mirror, and think about a few topics of conversation you want to initiate as you converse with people. Have some basic, everyday conversation starters (the weather, a recent news story, their family or a mutual friend), and also prepare some interesting questions or observations to initiate a more meaningful conversation. Here are thirty conversation topics to give you ideas. Write some of the topics down to keep in your pocket or purse to refer to at the event if you forget.

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Social life :-Practice a conversation.

For any skill you learn, practice increases your confidence. With repetitive practice, you know exactly what needs to be changed and adjusted, and it allows you to hone your skills until you feel proficient. The skills involved in social confidence require practice as well, and this includes practicing conversation skills. One of the biggest concerns about meeting new people or participating in group conversation is not knowing what to say or fearing you'll embarrass yourself. But with some pre-planning and practice, you'll be armed with plenty of conversation topics and the assurance to initiate a chat.

Action Steps:Before you attend a social gathering, a date, or even an outing with a friend, think about what you want to say when you first arrive. Practice greeting people in front of a mirror, and think about a few topics of conversation you want to initiate as you converse with people. Have some basic, everyday conversation starters (the weather, a recent news story, their family or a mutual friend), and also prepare some interesting questions or observations to initiate a more meaningful conversation. Here are thirty conversation topics to give you ideas. Write some of the topics down to keep in your pocket or purse to refer to at the event if you forget.

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