One of the hallmarks of low confidence
in a relationship is clinginess and insecurity. When you aren't confident, you
compensate by seeking reinforcement and subtly manipulating the other person
through neediness and guilt. You fear they may leave you, so you hold on
tighter—which ultimately pushes them away and sabotages your self-respect. Maybe
you have legitimate reasons to feel insecure, but holding on tighter or shaming
your partner won't fix the problem. Only healthy, open, and confident
communication will help you address any real issues.
Action Steps:Think of ways you might be clinging
through neediness and guilt. Write down some of the specific things you do that
might be passive-aggressive, whiny, or controlling. With the awareness that this
behavior isn't healthy for the relationship, write a commitment to yourself to
mindfully release one or more of these behaviors this week. If you feel there's
a real reason to feel insecure based on your partner's behavior or words, then
calmly and maturely communicate your concerns, even if you fear you'll hear
something you don't want to hear. Ultimately, you must have honesty and truth as
the foundation for any healthy and lasting relationship.
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